Speechless...

All of sudden i felt like blogging,is like i'm already give up on it..WORK?RELATIONSHIP?LIFE?or something else...i want to express my each and every single things in my heart which i wanted to speak out long long time ago...i feel so empty now,i really don't know what happen,miss my "ex-life"?..i hope "my now" was never ever happen before,didn't do anything which i will regret in my life and future..did i really do that?well,i don't think so cos i feel like this is what i'm doing now..i have to stop it so that i wont feel regret or suffer next time?..yea,bout my job..i hate working right now,i'm so tension...sometimes i might cry alone thinking what should i do.. =( i need someone to accompanied me,care me and even can do anything to make me happy..i got a boyfriend which he stay far far away from me and i can't just tell i'm sad or what cos i don't wanna make him feel worry..no,i can't.......i wanted to see him and tell him what i feel right now..am i choosing the right one?..i've got no idea..i need myself more than anyone right now..